As parents, we all want the best for our children — especially when they’re aiming for something as challenging as the NSW Selective High School Test. We invest in tutoring, practice papers, and structured routines. But there’s one powerful tool that often gets overlooked:

The way we talk to our kids.

The language of praise, encouragement, and feedback can shape not only how our children prepare — but how they see themselves through the process.

Here’s what we’ve learned from working with families at CH Tuition, and what you can apply at home today.

💬 Why Praise Matters (and What Kind Makes the Difference)

Not all praise is equal. Some types can build resilience and confidence. Others, unintentionally, can cause anxiety or fear of failure.

Let’s look at two kinds of praise:

❌ Outcome-based praise:

“You’re so smart!”
“You got full marks! Amazing!”

This feels good short-term, but it can lead children to associate their worth with perfection or results. When they eventually hit a tough question (as they will in Selective prep), they may start to doubt their intelligence or avoid risk altogether.

✅ Effort-based and strategy-based praise:

“You worked really hard on that problem, great perseverance.”
“I saw how you broke that question down. That’s great thinking.”

This kind of praise teaches children that their actions — not just their outcomes — are valuable. It builds a growth mindset, which is crucial during a long prep journey like Selective testing.

🧠 What We Said When Things Went Wrong

One of the hardest moments for any parent is seeing your child disappointed. Maybe they didn’t do well on a mock test. Maybe they got stuck on something they “should’ve known.”

It’s tempting to rush in with reassurance:

“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter.”

But here’s a more powerful approach:

“What did you learn from that?”
“What do you think you could try differently next time?”

At CH Tuition, we encourage reflection after every challenge. We’ve seen the confidence that grows when a student realises:

• Failure isn’t final.
  
  

• Mistakes are a normal, valuable part of learning.
  
  

• They are in control of their progress.
  
  

🏆 Celebrating More Than Scores

Parents often ask us:

“What should I reward my child for during Selective prep?”

Here are a few things we suggest celebrating:

• Finishing a tricky set even if it wasn’t perfect
  
  

• Asking a thoughtful question
  
  

• Coming back to a problem they struggled with
  
  

• Showing up to tutoring even on a tired day
  
  

These “quiet wins” show your child that character matters just as much as results.

🧡 What This Journey Is Really About

At CH Tuition, we’ve helped many students gain entry into selective schools. But we’ve also helped many children gain something even more important:

• Confidence in their thinking
  
  

• A love of challenge
  
  

• And the understanding that success isn’t just about scores — it’s about growth.
  
  

As a parent, the most powerful thing you can do is praise who they are becoming, not just what they are achieving.

🌟 Final Thoughts for Parents

• Use praise to reinforce effort, not just results.
  
  

• Talk openly about mistakes and model curiosity.
  
  

• Remind your child that their value isn’t tied to one test.
  
  

Because at the end of this journey — whether or not they get a placement — your child will remember how you made them feel.

And if they feel capable, supported, and loved… they’ve already succeeded.